Doctor's Office

When Little L. was a baby she used to scream and cry the moment we walked into the building. Her baby six-sense must have told her that something painful was coming. It was the really bad kind of cry too, the kind that rips right through your ear drums. As a mom, a new mom, it was so painful to hear her cry that way that sometimes I cried along with her a tiny bit.

Baby J. is much more laid back at the doctor's office. He loves the attention and coos and smiles at the nurses who all tell me how he's just the cutest little thing--and I agree. Where Little L. used to stiffen in terror, Baby J. playfully bats at the stethoscope and looks into the Dr.'s eyes and smiles. Despite Baby J.'s big smiles I still think about the way Baby L. used to cry. I still have a big knot in my throat the whole time we're at the doctor's office.

Yesterday, when it was time for Baby J. to get his shots, the nurse walked right in and asked me to lay Baby J. on his back and hold his little fists out of the way. She was quick--super quick. Bam, bam, bam, three shots. Three big loud screams from Baby J. "Okay, we're done here," she said cheerfully and walked just as quickly out. Baby J.'s happy, smiley little face had crumpled into the saddest thing I'd ever seen. Maybe it's even worse that he doesn't cry the whole time, I thought. With Little L., I was kind of used to her crying… this is worse…definitely worse…

As soon as I picked up Baby J. and hugged him close, he cooed and smiled. Even with tears still in his eyes he smiled through those tears and clung to me tightly.